Bathroom Break
by Sisco
Summary: OneShot! Watersports. Yaoi. SasuNaru. It's shameful Crack. Why did Sasuke agree to go on a picnic with the blond dobe again? Oh yeah, he was blackmailed into it.


**Bathroom Break**

By: Sisco

Betas: ZheM and therayneproject

Somewhat requested by: ZheM

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto or Sasuke.

They both belong to Kishimoto. Lucky man!

Warnings: Crack and piss…uh…hmm

-M-M-M-

Why did Sasuke agree to go on a picnic with the blond dobe again? Oh yeah, he was blackmailed into it.

He hadn't expected Naruto to appear at his front door with a basket hanging on his left arm and a goofy grin on his face. He had scratched the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. "Hey, Sasuke," Naruto started. "I was wondering if you'd go…on a picnic with me to The Valley of the End?"

Sasuke quirked his eyebrow and frowned, which really wasn't anything new to the blond. "No," he stated sternly.

"Why not?" Naruto whined. "Iruka made this really nice lunch when I was over at his apartment. Said something about Kakashi coming over just to 'spend time' with him and not wanting to do anything else because he'd be too tired after his mission." Naruto made sure to enunciate 'spend time' like his former sensei had. "And Sakura said that she was busy helping Ino with her genjutsu. I couldn't tell if she was lying to me or not though." He looked like he was about to pout, but it didn't last long, because he was smiling like a loon again.

Sasuke snorted, debating on whether he should look ill and/or nag the blond for being so naïve. He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. "How do you know _I _don't have anything to do today?"

Naruto groused. "Because I've never seen you outside other than when you're with us on a mission or trying to unmask Kakashi-sensei." He tilted his head before stamping his feet against the ground excitedly and dug into the picnic basket. "Look, I have fresh, ripe tomatoes." He pulled it into Sasuke's view and practically shoved it up his nose. "See?"

The raven haired teen's eyebrow gave a nervous tick as he pushed Naruto's hand away and glared. "Dobe! That isn't going to get me to go. I have a stock of tomatoes in my fridge anyways."

"Hm. Then what about Iruka's onigiri with bento flakes. You like those, don't you? Especially Iruka-sensei's? I remember Sakura-chan saying you were blushing when you bit into it and muttered something that they were the best you've ever had?" Naruto's face stretched into a knowing grin as he leaned in, their noses almost touching.

"Don't you believe in personal boundaries?" Sasuke growled as he shoved the blond away, murder, death, kill written all over his face. However, his complexion was somewhat red and didn't go unnoticed by his goofy rival.

"You're blushing," Naruto grinned deviously. "If you don't come with me, I'll tell everyone that you go crazy for Iruka-sensei's onigiri."

"I don't go crazy," Sasuke defended while balling his hand into a fist, about ready to punch Naruto square in the jaw.

Naruto merely looked unconvinced, the tomato still sitting in the palm of his hand trying to look pretty.

Sasuke's cheeks puffed up with indignation. He sighed in defeat and turned to close his front door. He heard Naruto give an eager cheer and race down the street while chanting 'Sasuke's coming on a picnic with me!' Sasuke flushed an angry red when he could hear his female groupies muttering under their breath about how they wish they could go on a picnic with him. "Oi, Naruto-dobe, could you not say that so loudly? These girls are looking at you like they'd like to rip your head off."

The blond ignored Sasuke's comment and the glares directed in his direction. Who gave a fuck what _they _thought? _He_ was the one going on a picnic with his best friend, not them!

And so here Sasuke sat, at The Valley of the End, munching quietly and observing the two statues standing rigidly against the waterfall. It wasn't until he took a sip of his green tea that he noticed Naruto looking a bit troubled. "What's the matter with you, dobe?"

Naruto gasped as he looked up at his friend and blushed. "Uh…nothing really." He turned his gaze away from the other.

Sasuke would have shrugged it off as one of the blond's stupid antics, but that was only if it hadn't been for the blush. It eerily reminded him of the girls that fawned over him, but it was somehow more attractive on the blond and he wasn't trying to be obvious about it. Keyword: _trying_. Sasuke smirked as he set his glass down and ate the rest of his onigiri before crawling toward the blond. "Naruto, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

The blonde sputtered. "W-What? I didn't say anything." His blush deepened as the other teen leaned in, their lips hovering closely together.

"You didn't have to, Naruto. Your blush says it all," Sasuke whispered as he lifted his hand up to Naruto's whiskered cheek and stroked it. He smiled in satisfaction when he felt a shiver run through the blond's flesh. "You want to be with me," he stated more than questioned. "It's alright; if that's what you want."

There was fluttering in the pit of Naruto's stomach as the other confessed this. "R-Really?" He leaned back onto his hands as Sasuke followed, their chests connecting and brushing pleasantly together. Naruto mewled softly when he felt the other's hand journey below the rim of his orange coat and black shirt to tickle his flesh there. He collapsed onto his back, allowing Sasuke to do as he pleased, until that fluttering became almost unbearable and his nose scrunched up in anxiety. His apprehension was confirmed when he felt his pants slide down over his legs and off his feet. "Meh…Sasuke…," he moaned.

Sasuke smirked, mistaking the plea as pleasure. He dipped his tongue into the blonde's navel and then licked a trail up to his chest to stop and tease his left nipple, using his hand to give the other the same amount of attention.

"S-Sasuke," Naruto whimpered, pushing his hands against the other's shoulders. "I need to…"

"Shh," Sasuke soothed. "Everything is okay, Naruto. I'll take care of you." His free hand tickled at Naruto's side, making the blond's predicament even worse. His flesh tingled at the touch, which in turn made the flurry worse in his stomach.

"No, Sasuke…" That's when Naruto felt bare flesh against him and an equally hard erection brushing against his own. When and how did Sasuke get naked so quickly? This wasn't good at all, and his burning face seemed to be proof enough.

The raven haired teen moaned against Naruto's shoulder and he ground their erections together. "Naruto, you feel so good."

Naruto shuddered as he moved his hands to Sasuke's firm chest and pushed up. "No…Sasuke. You need to get off…"

"I plan to," Sasuke purred as he buried his face into Naruto's neck. "I plan on making you feel good too, Naruto."

The blond moaned again, but more urgently. Well, shit, if Sasuke wasn't going to move... He stretched his legs out and allowed his arms to drop freely to his sides. There was a muffled huff in Naruto's throat when he couldn't hold it anymore.

Sasuke paused in his Naruto worshipping when he felt something hot and wet spread across both their waists and quickly sat up on Naruto's hips. He did so just in time to watch the last of the yellow liquid spill between them. "Naruto?"

Naruto flinched. He closed his eyes tightly and clinched the grass under his fingers. "I…"

"Did you just _piss_ on me?" Sasuke asked with a cool and even voice.

Naruto wished it wasn't. When it was calm like that, it usually meant an impending beating that he probably deserved. "I-I'm sorry, Sasuke. I tried to warn you," he defended weakly. He kept his eyes closed; waiting for the blow, but it never came. The weight was lifted from his hips and then he felt two warm arms wrap around his chest and knees. Naruto opened his eyes slowly, looking up at Sasuke's face. Why was he being carried? "Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't respond as he continued walking, his eyes focused on the point ahead of them.

Naruto followed the gaze and cringed. They were heading toward the water and that's when he started to struggle, apparently getting the wrong conclusion. He was going to be drowned for this? "No, Sasuke. You're going overboard. I didn't mean to." He gasped sharply when Sasuke's grip tightened and felt cold water envelope them. "No, please, don't do this… I didn't mean to, Sasuke!"

"I'm just washing you off, usuratonkochi," Sasuke explained softly. He placed Naruto down on his feet and turned him around to face him. "You thought I was going to drown you?"

Naruto flushed and hid his face in Sasuke's chest. "…Yes…"

Sasuke smiled as he rubbed his hands up and down Naruto's back. However, this wasn't helping the ache between his legs, and the strange thing was, that piss incident hadn't even given him a bit of a turn off. "Uh, Naruto. About making you feel good."

"Eep," Naruto pushed away slightly, revealing the blush across his cheeks. The other boy's erection prodding against his abdomen was painfully evident, and his own was hardening quite nicely. He gasped when he felt the other's hand dip below the water and take hold of his organ. "Sasuke," he whimpered.

The dark haired teen's smile broadened as he left a trail of saliva over Naruto's cheek and up to his earlobe where he started to nibble and blow warm air across it.

Naruto shivered as he wrapped his arms and legs around the other boy, causing him to fall back into the water. Fortunately, it was close enough to shore so that they were sitting up instead of drowning.

Sasuke moved his hand away from Naruto's penis, smiling at the mewl of loss, and slid a finger into the puckered entrance. He flinched slightly when the blond tightened automatically, and was expecting a few callous words, but they never came. He whispered soothingly into Naruto's ear. Sasuke couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face when he felt his lover's muscles relax, just enough to add another finger. When the blond didn't clench again, he added the third and started moving them in and out of the wanton body.

"Sa-Sasuke," Naruto moaned. His fingers dug painfully into the other's shoulders, begging silently to have more than just the three fingers inside him. He rocked his hips forward, grinding their erections together.

They moaned in unison and continued to thrust into each other. The friction was mind blowing, but Sasuke decided that he just couldn't come before he entered the blond. He removed his fingers to replace them with his cock and pressed the tip into the stretched entrance. "Naruto," he breathed softly. "You're going to have to help."

Naruto nodded against his lover's shoulder before pushing himself down along the length until he was completely impaled. He flushed with pleasure as he started to rock his hips again, causing Sasuke's member to stroke the inner walls of his ass. Naruto gasped when the other started to meet him thrust for thrust and reached for his throbbing cock.

It started out at a slow pace but they gradually worked up to a faster one; thrusting, pumping, and moaning each other's names just to drive the other over the brink.

The fluttering in Naruto's stomach returned, but it was for a completely different reason. It felt like he was embarrassed, but knew for certain that wasn't really the case. His abdomen tightened just as the hand did around his penis. He shuddered as Sasuke's thumb brushed over the slit and threw his head back with a cry. All his muscles twitched and clenched at his climax, the white essence floating to the surface in between them.

Sasuke moaned and arched his hips as the blonde's muscles tightened around him pleasantly, causing him to come and mark his lover from within. He smirked as he carefully pulled out and wrapped _his_ dobe in a warm, yet wet, embrace. He waited for some sort of response from the other, like a confession of love or something, but he was marginally surprised that it never came. "Why are you so silent, Naruto?"

Naruto blushed furiously and tried to hide his face into the crook of the raven haired youth's neck.

In return, Sasuke gave him open mouthed kisses along his jaw line, neck, and shoulder, humming softly as he did so. "I was expecting some sort of undying devotion from you."

There was a muffled response by the usually rambunctious boy, and Sasuke practically had to strain himself to hear it. Either way, he broke into a laugh as he lifted his significant other's chin to kiss him fully and passionately on the lips. "That's better, dobe. But next time, I want to hear it louder from you. And it had better be _only_ to me."

Naruto gave a meek nod, suddenly knowing how Hinata felt. "Hai, Sasuke-kun. I…I love you." He smiled when heard a soft rumble erupt from the other's chest, somewhat resembling a purr. Naruto then pressed his ear against Sasuke's steady beating heart and his eyes drifted closed as he was lifted from the water and carried back to their picnic site.

"I love you too, Naruto."

-0-And that is the end my friends!-0-

A/N: I warned you it would be…crack…a bit disturbing. –wipes the sweat away- I think I need to run away now!

Crack indeed…. I was all O.O through the part where he pees. Lol –ZheM-


End file.
